Thoughts...

I just turned 36 on the 19th, and even though my birthday is usually just a number, I've found myself thinking a lot lately.  During that thinking, realized that I don't have to wonder what I want to do when I grow up.  #1, I am grown up! lol  Ok, not old yet, but grown up anyway...  #2, I AM doing what I want to do for the rest of my life!

Me being an Advocate is not just something that I'm going to do for a time, but something I plan on doing for the rest of my life.  I'm on a mission, and that wont stop until the day I die, which I hope and pray is far in the future, have too much to do to die before then.

Sometimes, life has a way to take us with it, instead of us being able to grab hold and guide it.  I've found that many times, if we give it some slack, life guides us into things that we never thought we'd ever be doing, and sometimes if we let it too loose, we loose control.  I've given the reigns over to God, knowing that He'll guide me where He wants me, and a good thing that it's what I want to do as well!

Watching the Inauguration of Barack Obama, I was totally impressed with the speech that he gave, not from a piece of paper, but from his heart.  In him, I saw Martin Luther King, Jr., and it has given me so much hope for the future!  Something that he's been saying we all need, and that sorely so.  I'm hoping that we finally have a president that will understand and fight against the oppression that Victims, Survivors, and NCM's go through daily.  I hope that the change he promises will also include them, because if something doesn't change from the top down, we are going to loose too many more, and 1 more is more then enough...

So many things around me are making me think harder about what it is that UAADV should be doing, and I think that we are on the right path, but there's so many more things that can be done, and needs to be done.  We NEED to start a revolution, not just Survivors, not just Advocates, but Society.  Enough is ENOUGH, and I'm hoping this year is the year that it's fully understood.....

New Year, New Beginnings?

  Here it is, the start of yet another New Year, and this morning it got me thinking...
  What's going to be different about this year?
  What could make this year better then the past years that have slid by?
  One thing I thought of this morning is that I've seen my attitude changing lately.  More upbeat, more determined, more positive that things can change and knowing that I want that change to begin with me.
  That it's the beginning of the New Year is a plus, but this isn't a resolution that I'll let slip by like so many other resolutions of he past years.  Going to quit smoking, nope, that didn't happen, still smoke.  Going to loose weight, nope, didn't happen either, anybody need a few pounds? LOL
  It's interesting, even though I didn't make a resolution to loose weight, because of my new attitude, because I want to eat healthy to take care of myself better, because I'm getting more active because I'm trying to accomplish tasks that have been left to the wayside of late, I have a feeling I will be loosing weight.  Hey, added bonus!  Even got vitamins for the family and exercising again!  Whoo Whoo!!
  I can't put a finger on why my attitude has changed, can't put a finger on the hour or day.  It just happened.  No, not overnight, I can look back and see that I've been slowly getting into the grove of this, but now realizing that it's making a change not only in my life, but those around me that I'm in contact with.
  Being a DV Advocate can many times burn you out, it's so hard to hear what's going on out there to so many without burning out at some point.  I'm thinking that was part of my issue, day after day hearing the stories, the horrors, knowing that there are children out there being court ordered inot the custody of their abusers.  There are no simple answers there.  I realized long ago that there is no easy fix, and we can only do as much as we humanly can, although sometimes that doesn't feel enough.  There's a difference between realizing it and feeling it though, and I'm thinking that regardless, I want this year to be the year that the truth of DV is SEEN and HEARD daily!
  Add that to my growing Faith...
  I've seen in the past year my Faith in God growing in leaps and bounds.  Yes, I've had what I would call a good relationship with Him, but I've noticed that more and more, it's gotten much easier to turn to Him and to give my problems over to His direction.  Recently, my Fiancee was out of work for 6 months, and with 2 children, that could have been a very scary time.  He did start his own remodeling and home improvement business, which did help some, at least kept us afloat to an extent.  Month after month, we knew we had bills to pay, and I have to admit, needed help some of those months.  Believe it or not, our stress level wasn't bad at all, because we knew He was going to get us through as he had done so many times before, and that He had a plan for us.  What it was, I'm not sure.  Sometimes I truly think that He wanted to remind us how bad it can be, and in so seeing if we would turn to Him as we should.  It's hard to give up your stress, your worries, and your problems to Him and just let them go and not worry about them anymore.  Very hard, but it's gotten easier for not only myself this past year, but my Fiancee as well.  I guess we had a lot of practice! LOL  (side note: he got a wonderful job with great pay just before Christmas on Ft. Bragg, one of the members of our church helped him in that, and we do believe as well, it was a direction from God)
  So, just thinking about all this this morning while taking him to work and dropping him off.  (Oh, the added bonus of him working and me being able to plan the day out is nice too! LOL)  Not going to wait for what the New Year brings, but go out and grab it.  If I wait, it'll pass me by like so many other years past.  This year, I'm going to be that change in my life, and not wait for it to come from some external source...

Le Chrysalis December 2008 Issue

Le Chrysalis December Issue available now...

Happy Holidays & Stay Safe in 2009!!!

Holiday Blahs...

The Meaning of Christmas

Holiday Empowerment for Survivors

New Year Affirmations for Survivors

Survivor Poem

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