UNIFEM Goodwill Ambassador Nicole Kidman invites you to Say NO to Violence against Women. “One in three women may suffer from abuse and violence in her lifetime. This is an appalling human rights violation. We can put a stop to this. I became UNIFEM’s Goodwill Ambassador to amplify the voices of these women. That’s why I signed my name to this book. It will help UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, a strong supporter of our cause, to strengthen the United Nation’s efforts to fulfil women’s right to a life free of violence. So please join me. And add your name.”
Add your voice to an ever-growing movement of people who call for global action to end violence against women. Goal: One million people to say no to violence, and deliver to UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon on November 25th. Click here to go to the Say No To Violence website.
Shared from the original posting on UAADV News Blog
Join UNIFEM's "Say No To Violence" Campaign
Le Chrysalis - October 2008 Issue
Le Chrysalis Circular
The October edition of Le Chrysalis is updated! Come check it out!
Le Chrysalis is a circular provided by United Angels Against Domestic Violence (UAADV). The purpose of this circular is to provide information, resources, updates, empowerment and more to DV victims and survivors, as well as for advocates to share with those they are working with. Le Chrysalis will be published every other month in the middle of the month, and the Dear Chrysalis portion is updated weekly.
Shedding the worry.............
While I write up information for Le Chrysalis (which will be updated this weekend), I find myself wondering if I sound professional enough, or coming across right. You know what? I'm going to stop worrying about it! I'm a Survivor, and the whole reason for Le Chrysalis is to reach out to Survivors, and let's face it, they have enough professionals to connect to for support. So, in talking with a good friend of mine, I'm just going to be me on the UAADV Blogs, and Le Chrysalis. Who am I trying to impress? No One! I am who I am, and if someone decides to not read what I write because they don't like the style I write in, there's plenty of others to read.
This has been something that I've dealt with since Founding UAADV. I'm not a professional, and truthfully, never want to act like one. I've decided to not even worry about how others view me because of the way I write, didn't I have enough judgement and worry while with my abusers?
It's interesting, but in so many ways I'm still seeing small things that I see come from my abuse. While I feel that I'm a Survivor, and an Overcomer, I do see small triggers and issues that I still have that come from my years of abuse. Let's face it, the healing from the abuse takes a life time, but thankfully we do get better with time.
Missing Chrissy..............
After posting the below article as much as I could, I have to sit back and remember back....................
It still hurts to have lost my cousin, whom I didn't know was in a DV Relationship until after her death. It hurts that I CANNOT spread what we know about her death, because nothing was ever proven, yet we know what is in our hearts, and we know the truth. The Sheriff's office that he worked at knew the truth as well when they dropped him without pay after her death.
As much as I miss her, as much as I hurt knowing that she is gone, my pain is for her son that grows up without his Mom there to love him, to hold him, and to show how proud she is of all of his accomplishments.
When a loved one is killed, there are so many un-answered questions, so many things that were left undone, unsaid. This doesn't go away, yet seems to grow throughout the years.
So, the way that I'm going to combat that, the knowledge that I cannot do anything for her at this time, is to go after those that do it to others. To do everything in my power to help those that have lost a loved one due to DV have the closure that we'll never have. It's something that I don't wish on anyone..............
To fight for those that are going through it, those that have gone through it so that they can heal and break the cycle, and those Momz that are fighting for their children from their abusers, so that they have a chance to break the cycle of abuse.
In Memory of Chrissy and all of those that have died due to DV.........
International Man Of Mystery Could Be Hiding Among Us
I just finished posting the below to UAADV and all of our blogs, and I'm praying that this MONSTER is caught!
Too many are dying. Too many children are growing up without their Loving Mother.
I lost my cousin a few years ago, and yet, can't talk about it openly because her "death" was never proven without a doubt as a murder (even after her body was kept for over a year in hopes that evidence would come to light), and there wasn't enough evidence to charge her husband for her death. My family lost a wonderful woman and will never gain justice for her death, but thankfully her son is being raised by his Loving Grandparents, that will NEVER let him forget his Mom. Surprise surprise, last I heard her "husband" disappeared shortly after her death, and has yet to be found again.
So, when I see yet another Victim being murdered, I see red. This must STOP!
Harinder Singh Cheema
I'm sick and tired of seeing Victims Murdered! Here is a murderer that may be anywhere within the US, and could even be lining up his next victim. Help bring this Murderer to Justice! If you have any information on this Monster that killed his wife, leaving 2 children without a Loving Mom, call AMW!
International Man Of Mystery Could Be Hiding Among Us
Canadian homicide detective Denis Hogg is determined to track down a man he calls a "cold-blooded" killer. Harinder Singh Cheema is wanted for stabbing his wife to death and abandoning his two young children. Cheema could be hiding in the U.S., and Hogg needs your help to track him down.
Has gone by Singh or Peter Gomes
Last December, cops say 28-year-old Harinder Cheema asked a Montreal babysitter to watch his two small children while he looked for his missing wife, Gurpreet Kaur. The babysitter agreed, but police say when Cheema phoned to say that he was traveling across Canada to continue his search, her family demanded that he return to pick up the young children.
The next morning, with no sign of Cheema, Montreal police drove to his apartment complex and peered into his window. Inside, they saw Gurpreet's lifeless body sprawled across the living room floor. Now, AMW is joining an international hunt for Cheema in hopes of taking down the man who police are calling a cold-blooded killer.
AMW Correspondent Jon Leiberman says that Dennis Hogg, the detective responsible for the Cheema investigation, is one of the most dedicated law enforcement officials he's ever met. Jon says that even though this story originated in Canada, Dennis was determined to get it on America's Most Wanted because of the show’s success in capturing fugitives all over the world.
Several of Dennis' colleagues doubted that he could ever get the case featured on American TV, but Dennis set out to prove them wrong.
"All of the police reports were in French when Dennis came to us," Jon says, "and he took the time to translate every document into English to make things easier for us."
Police say that Cheema may still be hiding out north of the border, but there's a good chance that he's crossed over into the United States. Log on to AMW.com to hear Jon’s interview with Detective Hogg. Then, join us Saturday night on the hunt for the fugitive who cops are calling an International Man of Mystery.
Madeline's House in danger of closing its doors
Here it is, the second day of DV Awareness Month, and I read about a Domestic Violence shelter that is in danger of closing next month and really in need of help. The only one in it's area serving 12 counties!!
I had to go to a shelter when escaping my abusive x-husband, and I don't know where my son and I would be right now if there wasn't a shelter available to take us. We most likely would have stayed, it was our only way out at the time, and most likely would be dead right now. I had to share this excerpt now, although I have put the full article here because I feel it's so important, because THIS is the reason that DV Shelters MUST stay open and NEED help!
The home is named Madeline's House after Madeline Gerhardt Mitchell. Her abusive husband killed Mitchell ten years ago. While many tried to protect Mitchell the shelters in the northern part of Virginia were all full and unable to accept her and her children. Her husband was able to get to her and shoot and kill her and then shoot and kill himself.
We don't need anymore Madeline Gerhardt Mitchell's, too many are dying already to let a shelter serving so many close it's doors.
This could have been me, this could have been so many others.
Here it is DV Awareness Month, and I know that times are tough and we are all going over our finances and cutting things down, but every little bit that you can send could truly help this shelter out. If you could contribute $5 a month towards this shelter, about the price of a pack of cigarettes or a gallon of milk, together we can help keep this shelter going for years to come so that they can continue saving women and children from abuse, and continue to be there for those that need them.
This may not be a shelter in your area since I am sharing this all across the US, but you could be a lifesaver not only to this shelter, but to a Victim that is running for her life, possibly with her children. Do you truly know something else that your money could be better spent on?
Please, HELP ensure that this DV Shelter does NOT have to close due to financial distress!!! Please, don't only open your wallets, but open your hearts and send whatever you can.
Please, leave a comment on the original article and show your support with a comment and a donation!
http://www.vancnews.com/articles/2008/09/30/south_hill/news/news01.txt#blogcomments
VA - MECKLENBURG COUNTY - The only emergency shelter for domestic and sexual violence victims in south central Virginia is in danger of closing next month, officials said.
Madeline's House was established in 1999 and is operated under the direction of Southside Center for Violence Prevention (SCVP).
The home, which has 33 beds, is located in the Farmville area and serves primarily 12 counties. No one truly needing a safe haven has ever been turned away, Emily Marshall, the executive director, said.
Marshall said, "Madeline's House has suffered many funding cuts over the past several years, yet hasn't turned away any woman or child in crisis. The directors and staff have worked tirelessly to assure these cuts haven't affected critical services for women and children who are fleeing to us for safe haven. But options are running out.
"Don't let Madeline's House doors close," Marshall pleaded.
"It just seems that no matter how many options we pursue, it hasn't been enough!" Bernice Hawkins, president of Madeline's House Board of Directors cried. "But we just can't let our doors close! We need help now!"
The board of directors reported that in 2007 Madeline's House provided nearly 3,000 bed night and follow-up services to victims. "This year (2008), we have provided safety and services at an alarming rate," board ember John Milano said. "We have to find a way to stay available to the women and children who need the safe haven and services we can provide. We are appealing to everyone who reads this article to help us by making a donation, no matter how small or great. If we don't have help immediately, unfortunately, we'll have no choice but to close."
The board is pleading for citizens and organizations to consider making a donation now and continuing to support the efforts of Madeline's House. Tax deductible donations can be mailed to SCVP, P.O. Box 563 Farmville, VA 23901 or call 888-819-2926.
"Your donation will help us assure safety and services for victims of domestic and sexual violence who need refuge from their abusers, a secure place where we can help them break the cycle of violence," Marshall said. "We are going to hold on as long as we can. We have had a heart warming response from the community so far."
Marshall noted the efforts of the students at Longwood University to save the home. She said the students organized and went from business to business in the Farmville area seeking support for the shelter. The businesses responded accordingly, Marshall said and as a result on Oct. 1 nearly 30 businesses in Farmville will be donating a portion of their sales to Madeline's House because of the efforts of the college students.
Marshall said she knows that the country is in hard times economically, which relates directly to their decrease in donations. She is seeking to have more people knowing about what Madeline's House does and the number of people they provide services to 365 days a year.
On Atlantic Street in South Hill, in the Mecklenburg Shopping Center, near Subway and The Medicine Shoppe Pharmacy, Madeline's House has a thrift store. The store accepts tax deductible donations of household goods, clothing, toys, appliances and almost anything else. The store ensures the item is sellable and then places it in the store for purchase.
Patrons to the store can bring in their donation and take a look around at the name brand clothing and other great buys offered on items donated to the store. The store is open Tuesday through Saturday.
Marshall said that one in three women have been victims of domestic or sexual abuse. This amounts to a woman abused or assaulted every nine minutes, Marshall said. She said that 50 percent of men who abuse their wives also abuse their children. According to the statistics provided by Marshall 40 percent of girl's ages 14-17 are abuse by a boyfriend and 80 percent of runaways are from homes where domestic violence occurs.
The board of directors said they are now acting as volunteer staff themselves in order to keep the shelter operational. While they receive some grant funding it does not cover all the expenses that are required to meet the needs of those who must have this safe haven.
Marshall said that it cost approximately $113 per person per day to provide the basic needs. These needs are met in a supportive environment. The costs the home incurs to meet the basic needs of the clients include food, clothing and shelter and such overhead cost as utilities, staff services and insurance.
Some of the services, outside of the basic needs, offered by Madeline's House through SCVP is a 24 hour crisis hotline, transportation to shelter & appointments, food and clothing in a loving and supportive family environment.
The shelter provides personalized case management, which includes individual counseling, support groups and court advocacy.
To meet the needs of those who are in Madeline's House children's activities are provided, training and job seeking skills for the women, financial planning and each case is followed up with after departing the shelter.
They continue to reach out to the schools and communities and provide information on domestic violence and sexual violence to all.
The home is named Madeline's House after Madeline Gerhardt Mitchell. Her abusive husband killed Mitchell ten years ago. While many tried to protect Mitchell the shelters in the northern part of Virginia were all full and unable to accept her and her children. Her husband was able to get to her and shoot and kill her and then shoot and kill himself.
On Friday, Oct. 3 in celebration of Domestic Violence Awareness Month (October), a vigil will be held in the Roses Shopping Center on East Atlantic Street in South Hill at 7 p.m. This will be one of three simultaneous vigils' to be held throughout Southside. The others will be held at the Madeline's House Thrift Store in Farmville and in Blackstone at Seay Park. Each participant is asked to bring a candle. For more information call 434-292-1077.
Just too many..................
Going through the UAADV email, it just really hit me that there's just too many Victims, Survivors, and NCM's that are searching for help and support, too many that don't have that local support for themselves our their children.
Don't get me wrong! I'm glad that they come to us, but to hear their need for help, to know they aren't getting the help that they need, it just eats at me. I want anyone that needs support to come to us, but it gets to me at times knowing that they aren't getting it anywhere else.
I guess that's what got me to start UAADV to begin with huh? Yet, it still bothers me, and I feel for each and every one of them...........
Just needed to vent after contacting 14 Survivors back.
Just one more thing..........
Those that seem to be of the opinion that Domestic Violence ends after a Victim leaves the household are wrong, sometimes dead wrong. Many times the abuse doesn't end! The stalking begins, the harassment, the mind games, the abuse through the court systems. Too many Victims do not have the chance to heal, or to get away from the abuse.
Not to mention the years of healing that a Victim must go through...........................
Not to mention the healing and the hell that the children must go through....................
There's just too many................
Inside "Glittering Truths"
I'm a Mother, a Christian, a CA/DV/SA Survivor & Advocate, a Homeschooler, a GAL/CASA (not to be confused with GAL's that are in a paid position in many states), a Woman. I am many things, yet am only one. One drop in the ocean, but hopefully that one drop can join in on a storm!
I have created this blog as an outlet, to share my feelings of all the above and more, and to hopefully share what it means to be a Survivor & Advocate. My advocacy fills most of my time, thoughts and energy, yet, Advocates are so much more then what people see!
We do have lives outside our advocacy. We have families, we have hobbies, we have lives! Such a concept huh? LOL But, we all do, and yet, we diverge from all of this during our advocacy. I truly feel that our experiences, our feelings, our thoughts and dreams, give us many tools in which to use. Our experiences give us the drive to do what we do. So many of us, after getting out of our abusive situations promise ourselves that we will NOT let this happen to someone else, that we WILL do something to stop it! I applaud those that have made good on this promise, we need each and every one of them.
This was my premise behind creating UAADV over 3 years ago. There are so many Survivors out there, 1 in 3 women go through abuse. Think of how many Survivors are out there that can be a part of the solution if only they had the tools to do so! I got tired of hearing from DV Agencies that they didn't know how to get a hold of Survivors. We're everywhere! So, UAADV was created, and in the time we have been, we have grown, and continue to do so.
Ok, so a little about me.......
First off, I'm a red-head. Although I have a lot of patience, I'm like a typical red-head in when you do get me mad, well, suffice it to say it's time to back off. LOL It takes me a bit to get to that point, but when it comes to Domestic Violence, Rape, Child Abuse, Court Corruption, taking a child from a Good Parent, well, it doesn't take much at all.
I have 2 children, Devon who will be 13 next month (a teenager in my house! AAGGHHH), and Angel who is 8. They are both homeschooled and are great kids. Devon has autism, and Angel developmental cognitive delays. No matter what, they are intelligent and very bright children, and I have no worries that they are going to go far. They just need to be shown that the sky is the limit, and I know that they'll take it from there.
I am in a long term relationship, working on wiping things from the past so that we can move on with our future together. We've been together for over 9 years now, not married yet (working on it), and yet, we've been together and through more then most married couples have! A sad fact........We are married in our hearts and under God until we can legally complete our marriage. To us, it's a piece of paper...
I'm a GAL/CASA worker for Robeson Co. in NC. I LOVE being a GAL, and trying to help abused children have an abuse free life. I just wish I had this available to me as a child, I may not have gone through what I did, yet, what I have gone through has made me who I am today. hmmmm..........
I'm involved with several different DV Agencies & Organizations. There are so many out there doing such wonderful things!
I love angels, butterflies, faerie's, and life. We have 3 dogs, 7 cats (4 whom are still toe biting kittens), 2 chinchillas and a gecko. We love keeping our house full! I LOVE my Sister Survivors & those within the DV field that are working to make a difference!
I hate abusers, liars, cheaters, those that say you "can't" do something, those that try and tear down your dreams. I hate rainy days, makes my joints ache. LOL
All in all, just a normal, every day woman that is on a mission. That has been through and seen things in my life that I can't sit back and ignore, and will never choose to do so.
So, this is my place to come when I have something on my mind. When I want to "Let the Bitch Out" as is said within the DV field. When I just can't keep my anger, my anguish, the tears, and the laughter to myself any longer.
